A new side of me

Well Aurora just summed India to me in this well thought-out phrase:

India is like your family: you'll always love them, unconditionally. But boy! can they push ALL of your buttons!

India is like that in so many ways...I've fallen in love with so many parts of it, and I'm sure I'll get home and miss it incredibly...but I've had every aspect of my personality tested here. And I've found so many new parts and new weaknesses that I never knew.

I'll tell you all the stories in detail when I get back. But lets me just ask you this: Have you ever seen me soooo angry, so upset that I've screamed? Or that I've turned and given you an angry lecture? Well I can name a very few that have: Adria, my parents.....this may ring a bell to you. But never have I been so angry and felt so powerless that I have had to turn to complete strangers and yell...and scream... and give lectures on being rude....or been so incredibly blunt you probably wouldn't recognize me... "Um excuse me, but we don't want you here...so please go.. GO! Get ^&*^(ING LOST!, etc." And when they don't?...and just pretend not to hear you? Well, India's pushing as hard as she can?

And I'm sorry if that makes me violent. And I'm sorry if it makes me biased against men and towards women. And I'm sorry it makes me selfish and moody. And I'm sorry if it makes me soooo homesick all I want is to wake up to peace and quiet and fresh bread and cheese and soymilk and not have to listen to "he hi hello...hey miss" one more time!

But you know what? I'm learning how to deal with these things...and perhaps trying to figure out how to constructively manage disagreements and anger is one of the best gifts this country may be giving me. Which button's next?