Living at home, living in Canada, thinking about India

So if you check dates and for some reason are still checking my blog, you'll see that I've been home close to a month. But I feel like leaving my last blog entry at Sangam was not quite the full circle. So here's one more to put everything so far perhaps, into perspective.

So, coming home wasn't all that shocking. I guess I've done it enough times, from all sorts of places, developing countries included that you know how things are. But as time goes by you realize a few things....

First of all I've realized that although perhaps things seem the same as when you left, and in many ways, you go back to the same life you had before (which I'm quite enjoying btw..all that family and friends and clean air!)...there is something that has changed, on the periphery perhaps.

For me, its the sum of all the little bits of knowledge and experience I've been aquiring. I don't think its something that I can quite describe in words yet, but it comes across as emotion when I see/hear things here. Crazy things, like finding myself bursting into tears over the news, or feeling intensely sorry for the really drunk man stumbling down the bikepath asking "which way to uptown?" Or feeling stifled and alone and out of sorts when in a mall and I'm staring at an aspect of the things that Canadians value....and don't say that it isn't true.

Perhaps you can attribute to Lariam, which I'm glad to say I'm finally off, or genetics..but I think its something more than that. I think its a new level of awareness...a sum of all the parts. Its from being there, and from getting feelings of what its like for different people in so many different situations. And from realizing all the complications and layers to many of the situations whether personal or global or somewhere in between. I'm not going to wish it away in any way because hopefully it will help direct me to wherever I'm going next in life. And besides, without some change, I'd just be back where I started...

So, signing off from my India adventures and looking forward to the next ones, perhaps a little closer to home.

Full circle--One home to another

Here I am. Back at Sangam, at the journey's end. Home. Or on my way home. Or both. I think.

Sooo glad to be back at Sangam where there is calm and peace, and I know and understand at least half of Pune and what's going on. Where I can catch up on friends, relax and do the dreaded thing...try and fit 7.5 months worth of stuff into 2 suitcases. You'd think I of all people could do such a thing, but even I have materialist tendancies (everything is soooo cheap here) Needless to say, perhaps, Joanne and I spent all day shopping. :/ Anyway, we're relaxing here now but off to Mumbai for 2 days before the flight out.

I've had an absolutely wonderful time, both living and the travelling. But, India is kinda like a nail file...it just keeps rubbing off bits of my nerves and shaping me....but my nails aren't growing back so fast. So its time. And I'm looking forward to coming home. I miss everyone. You've all been so great at emails and mail and it means so much so far away from family. I probably wouldn't be so head-strong and keen to "do" things if you all weren't there, just supporting me. Thank you!

So, this, sparing a few adventures in Mumbai, Singapore and Vancouver, is really the end of this trip. But I know I will be back...maybe with some of you, if you're up for it :)

"The perfect journey is circular. The joy of departure and the joy of return" :)))

Mettlawadi--Isaac's Village

We've just arrived back from spending 24hrs in the village that my friend Isaac grew up in. It was both a welcome relief from all the overwhelming cities we've stayed in, and a thought-provoking experience. But provided the next few days go well, I will leave India on a good note. India is like that- you hate it and you love it--you can't stand it but you know you'll be back. Its all extremes; nothing in between.

So our journey to the village started at the bus stand in Mysore where we met Isaac and one of his brothers, Laurence. Isaac is the youngest child in a family of 7 (I think!). I met him in Pune as he is studying at the Papal Seminary to be a priest. We met him earlier on this trip in Hampi if you remember :)

So we left Mysore and took a 1.5hr bus ride to a town somewhere--don't ask where! Then we stood around in the sun, and caught another bus for an hour. There we got off at the bus stop and met another of his brother's John bandmaster. While we waited for the bus a crowd, as usual, of gawkers grew around us--definately not a common site to see a group of foreign women. Pretty exciting. :P From there we took a 3rd bus to the village.

The village was a few 1000 people with a rations store, a school and a few shops-surrounded by farms and plantations, etc. We went to his house and met his sister-in-law and his parents, his 2 nephews and his one niece, Shilpanrani--10 years old--who quickly attached herself to us for the rest of the stay.

Mettlawadi, the village--is a border town between the states of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu. Oficially it is in Tamil Nadu, but they speak Kannada--the language of Karnataka--and receive some assistance from Karnataka-or should-because they are in a really remote place in Tamil Nadu.

So we walked around for awhile...saw the one phone booth where I had to call to reach Isaac (the only one in the village)--the fields and the major intersections--one which used to have a security post on it to stop smugglers from smuggling saffron--the most expensive spice in the world.

And it was quiet and peaceful and beautiful...and for the first time in awhile I went a whole day without being angry at someone. Shocking!

One thing that disturbed us though, was the level of domestic violence--in both cases the husband went off and got drunk and then came back to beat his wife--in full view of anyone. Now, alcohol is prohibited in that district in Tamil Nadu...however, it isn't 3 miles away in Karnataka. So men go to the next state and then come back. Women don't drink. There are laws written in the Indian constitution prohibiting abus but in some places the power and beliefs of the people, along with the corruption of the police---the most corrupt part of the system in my opinion--makes it pretty unreasonable that anything ever gets "done" about it. So sad.

Inside Isaac's home however, was wonderful, and we were treated like royalty. As is common when staying with a famil--they give you everything they have--the best food, the best beds and anything else you might need--be it tp, or a chair to sit on...And I've learnt better than to protest--it would only be an insult. Hard because you are expected to eat your fill, yet you know you're eating part of the family's monthly rations. It really drives home the message that its not really what you have that matters, but what you have to give. I am overwhelmed by their generocity.

So we spent our one day wandering, attracting attention and hoards of children, playing guitar and listening to John play the clarinet. The next morning we attended mass in Kannada...Isaac spoke and played the drums for the songs.

And when it was time to leave, we sat near the bus stop talking, watching a friend sort lentils and a man climb a palm and harvest coconuts. And then the next thing we knew some of those coconuts were in our hands and being drunk...and then broken for us to eat. Yum! Doesn't get any better than that.

Wonderful. Another place where I will leave a portion of my heart.

Blue Mountain Railway to Ooty

Every seen the film "A passage to India"? Well this morning we got up at 4am to catch the train used in this film. It goes about 10km/hr and climbs almost 2000m going through many many tunnels and over many bridges. A gorgeous ride and now we're in nice and cool (25°C) Ooty an old British hill station.

And you know what? Sometimes it actually pays to be white and female!! Despite all the drawbacks along the way today we got a special coach just for the foreigners and didn't have to wait for the next train or stand crammed for 4.5hrs on either of them! That's one good thing...you're so high on the caste you can get away with anything sometimes! I don't know if its worth it...being high up, or living in a society where divisions are so prominant....I am beginning to sympathize with the aristocracy....always treated with the same stereotype, always stared at, always seen as something not quite anyone else...I think I much prefer being a boring normal person and living in a society that attempts to make everyone equal...but maybe that's my cultural bias? who knows? Anyway, at least being different and exciting has its perks.

contemplation

Today I contemplated the following things while city on a long train ride:

What makes a countries people open-minded and culturally aware? Is it simply the culture? Is it religion? Is it education? What do you think?

And...if you could measure open-mindedness as a percentage of the population, which countries would come out on top....why? What does this say about the country?

Living the exotic India dream

The last week here in Kerala, I'd have to say, has been something of a tourist dream come true in many ways. I wouldn't call myself a tourist but I think if I were one, I would be spending the last few days in paradice.

It started in Kochi...we went to the old Portugese area of town. We walked around, saw the sun setting between the old Chinese fishing nets and then went to see the traditional Kathakali dance of Kerala...I don't know how to describe it except imagine elaborately painted faces, large dresses and costumes that stick out far, and lots of sounds and hand gestures (there's not talking). And awesome drumming and singing!

Then, we headed for the hills to the tea plantations of Munnar. Ever see tea plantations? Well they're pretty cool...green pillows on steep slopes. There we stayed in a small house and went cycling. At night the tea hills were dotted with fireflies...and the sounds we could here for once...silence and the chirrping of frogs...ah!

Then we moved on to Kumily/Thekkadi...another town in the hills. The Cardamon hills to be exact...Cardamon is apprently quite picky about where it grows...so lots of spices everywhere...growing, harvesting, eating...mmmm. Talk about "land of spice" stereotype. Great stuff.

And at this place there is a large nature reserve...for the 40 or so tigers left in India. But we had a very "bang for your buck" experience. We saw several herds of wild elephants, wild boar, bison herds, deer herds, foxes, otter, turtles...etc. all in a few hours on a boat. We also went hiking but all we really saw on that trip was the infamous forest leech.....and unfortunately I got my first leech-sucking experience. ugh! nasty little buggers!

Anyway, we had a few more peaceful nights there and are not back on the coast. Today we took a local boat up the small canals here going past small villages, shrimp farms and coconut plantations...definitely also a tourists' dream! Tomorrow and 8hr cruise to Alleppy. Yep "life is but a dream" :)

A new side of me

Well Aurora just summed India to me in this well thought-out phrase:

India is like your family: you'll always love them, unconditionally. But boy! can they push ALL of your buttons!

India is like that in so many ways...I've fallen in love with so many parts of it, and I'm sure I'll get home and miss it incredibly...but I've had every aspect of my personality tested here. And I've found so many new parts and new weaknesses that I never knew.

I'll tell you all the stories in detail when I get back. But lets me just ask you this: Have you ever seen me soooo angry, so upset that I've screamed? Or that I've turned and given you an angry lecture? Well I can name a very few that have: Adria, my parents.....this may ring a bell to you. But never have I been so angry and felt so powerless that I have had to turn to complete strangers and yell...and scream... and give lectures on being rude....or been so incredibly blunt you probably wouldn't recognize me... "Um excuse me, but we don't want you here...so please go.. GO! Get ^&*^(ING LOST!, etc." And when they don't?...and just pretend not to hear you? Well, India's pushing as hard as she can?

And I'm sorry if that makes me violent. And I'm sorry if it makes me biased against men and towards women. And I'm sorry it makes me selfish and moody. And I'm sorry if it makes me soooo homesick all I want is to wake up to peace and quiet and fresh bread and cheese and soymilk and not have to listen to "he hi hello...hey miss" one more time!

But you know what? I'm learning how to deal with these things...and perhaps trying to figure out how to constructively manage disagreements and anger is one of the best gifts this country may be giving me. Which button's next?